Thursday, January 20, 2011 ♥
It's been awhile since i last blogged !
In this post , i just wish to say everything from my heart from 2010 ...
Since the day that i had fell for euu , confessed my feelings toward euu ...And euu telling me that euu have the same feelings towards me ... Let's say , from the start of May till mid June being with euu more dhen friends but not couple ...At that period of time , i am really confused and tired ... I can't really see through euu ...After euu had came back from sailing on the October ... Things still continues to be the same ...In that four months when euu are not around , i thought that i can totally forget euu ...But i couldn't do that and let things continue when during that time i know things wont turn out good coz all along i dunno wad euu are tinking and how euu treated me ...After euu had came back , my mind had became more confused dhen how it is last time ...During that period of time , i told myself ... Nothing will turn out to be fine , stop lying to myself and being foolish to continue waiting ...All this while , i had already done alot and love euu too deeply ...When i met Ziwei , everything changed ...She told me lots of things and even asked me not to give up ...During November , she asked me to hold on and not to give up as something will happen in 1 - 3 months time ...Indeed , i received a good news on 18th November ...But on that day , i know that he hasn't really settle his things before asking me to be together with him ...So i asked him to settle his things first dhen we talk about it ...On the same day , he broke up with his girlfriend even though he said it wasn't because of me ...On the 19th November he asked me once again and i accepted ...But before i accepted , there's some thoughts flashing in my mind about not to be with him ...At least he really makes me feel happy and relieved during my Genting trip from 19th - 22th ...After all the confusion and waiting , finally things turn out to be out of my expectation ...From 19th November 2010 till now which is 20th January 2011 ...Starting of the relationship was really great and happy ...But after a period of time , i feel that there's really a lack of communication and understanding between the both of us ...Which turns out to having problems and my feelings towards him ...It's just a two months relationship yet things turn out to be cold coz of me ...But there's certainly reasons behind about why i suddenly treated him cold ...I had been keep on asking myself , do i really love euu or i just used to have euu by my side ...Until now , i still can't seems to find the answer ...During this two months , there's a period that i am really tired and wanna end everything ...But it's isn't really that easy to let go after so many things had happen and the route that i had been through before being together ...Euu gave me a feeling that euu wanted to tie me by your side ...I am someone who don't like to be controlled and tied ...But unknowingly , i actually been tied by euu on my own ...All along in this relationship , i dare to sae i had never failed to put in effort and time ...I had already give in too much that i had already felt tired long ago ...But even though Ziwei keep on asking me to give myself a break to go on longer ...I seems to be unable to take a break and i am still giving in in no matter what ...I really wish this relationship will last long but after everything , i dun see our future ...At the beginning when we are together , i didn't have faith and trust ...But i had already overcome it but the feeling came again ...Euu somehow changed in ur attitude and character ...Even a outsider can sees that , maybe it's because i had doted on euu too much ...I just wish things will turn out better and last long :)
listened to the sweet sound @ 3:06 AM
